This little beauty came up today as I was pondering my coaching cards….
I love my coaching tools, not only do I get to play with them when I am working with my clients, but I also use them to help me transform whenever I get the opportunity.
Today when I selected this card, I was looking for inspiration of sorts. I ‘needed’ to write some content for this blog and wasn’t sure where to start. The beauty about this sort of work is that it can apply to any part of your/ my life.
Great question! As far as this question goes, today my answer is this, I am putting up with the fact that I ‘think’ I don’t know what to write, and that NO ONE is interested in what I write.
I Spent Many Hours Journaling
That weekend had a profound effect on how I thought about my life and I made some major decisions that weekend. Probably the best part of the weekend was the space and time that I had to truly listen to my thoughts and for me to realise how bloody shitty my thinking was.
I am putting up with this self-limiting belief so that it keeps me stuck in a cycle of ‘not doing’. When I am ‘not doing’ I am managing my energy levels and not ‘overworking’ which I have a tendency to do.
OOOO Sandra, good one!! I love this stuff!!
When we show up this way, we are a shining bright light to our families, friends and communities. We have the ability to make a massive impact in other people lives.
As well as using this little beauty for the immediate, it also reminded me so much about when I was married. I literally tolerated and put up with so much Bull#%&#@T (coaching code for bullshit) in my life and marriage that a crazy person could have seen what was going on in my life.
I tolerated and put up with it for so many years that it became my normal. Over extended periods of time sadness, poor behaviour, unhappiness can become normal.
When we live in this state of denial, we are very much putting ourselves at risk of hurting our health and potentially plunging into deep dark depression and I sure had my share of that for a time.
We can control our naughty mind; it really sucks to have our mind control us. I have worked on this practise for many years and know deep heartedly that it works. Keep in mind though, that we can regress and get unpractised if we don’t keep the awareness up.
The same goes with our health, financial situation, relationships and any other areas of our life that we are putting up with what seems normal to you? that which if you truly looked closer you realise that is not normal to be or feel that way.
When we put up with stuff in any area, we are convincing ourselves that it is not that bad, we can kid ourselves with self-talk like ….
• Oh well it could be worse
• It will get better
• I can handle this
• I should be grateful for …..
We also compare our pain to others saying stuff to ourselves like …. ‘ it could be much worse look at Karen’ , look at how bad her marriage / health life is. We measure ourselves, our lives, our health against someone else’s broken measuring stick.
We drown ourselves with positive talk, which in many situations is an awesome tool to have, I love positive talk but in these cases you have to ask yourself AT WHAT COST” ?
• Am I hurting myself, my health & wellbeing?
• Am I hurting my family?
• What am I teaching kids?
• Am I teaching my kids to settle?
• Am I just plain old settling for bad or mediocre?
I have learnt so much from that huge life experience. And one of the things that I have got out of that is to not tolerate and put up with crap in my life, things, situations and people that are not serving me well.
I am resilient but there is a line between, giving someone / something a good go, and sticking at something to the end in order to get a result. If I didn’t apply those qualities to my health life and business, I would have given up years ago.
Even after being married for 20 years and having an un-happy ending, I still believe in marriage. What I don’t believe in, is that we have to sacrifice our own happiness for other people, I didn’t believe that before either but It was how I was living.
For many years I was wrapped with guilt within my marriage and this kept me bound to it. My guilt was around the fact that I lost love for my husband and that I felt it was wrong that I stayed married to him, even though initially we were happy and there was love in the beginning.
Over time I changed, I grew, I became a different person and he just stayed the same with no desire to grow and learn, this was a problem for me. My guilt was also around my children and especially my daughter.
I was a single mum when I met my husband and part of my guilt (so I discovered later on) as my marriage dismantled, was the fact that I felt I owed it to her and my son to stay within the marriage to keep the family together. This is not a new thought or feeling, what married person hasn’t thought this right?
This pain of mine also became the pain of hers, and still to this day we are healing from that. Her dad was not always kind to her, he was hard on her and our son was the golden boy.
I put up with my unhappiness and the pain for years at a huge cost to us all. On some levels, I do wish I had dissolved the marriage earlier to save us all from the pain, however I also am of the belief that the journey is the journey man !
And everything was and is meant to be, there is no going back and trying to ‘fix it’. The pain and suffering that I had is now serving a greater purpose in my life and the good news is that I am very quick now to be aware of what is serving me and what is not.
The human mind is very clever it will create smokescreens to keep us in an illusion and to keep us safe. For years it was very much in the illusion of happiness and would not acknowledge the pain.
Raising a conscious awareness around this illusion and the stories that our mind tells us in order to not settle and not put up with those things in our life that are not serving is important inner work.
Please take notice of what you need what your body needs, do not put yourself first before your family. When you are truly whole and happy then you can truly serve your family, friends and community on a much greater capacity.
They do not need or disserve the ‘broken you’, It is actually a selfish act to stay broken and wallowing in your self-pity. Find a way to help yourself, talk about it, reach out and do whatever it takes to serve your higher good and stop putting up with crap in your life that is not good for you.
Find a way sweet you are worth it
Sending you love, health and happiness
💥 BUILDING STRONG HEALTHY PEOPLE, BUSINESSES & WORKPLACES FROM THE INSIDE OUT 💥
Sandra Leigh specialises in helping business owners, remote workers and workplaces build strong healthy habits from the inside out.